Unshakable
November 13, 2012
My name is Tiara and I am broken, but my faith can not be shaken...
My daughters and I endured two years of abuse while we lived with my ex-husband in Canada. I tried many times to escape but because I was not a citizen, my options were limited. After awhile my visitors status became illegal and because my baby daughter was born there, I was terrified to try and return to the US. I was not entitled to work nor did I qualify for any kind of assistance. I didn’t know what to do... I did have the option to flee to domestic violence shelters for a short time, but there was nothing they could do to help us build a stable future. Each and every time I tried to break free, my fears always forced us back into the same abusive situation I tried desperately to escape from.
After several vain attempts to either reconcile or run, I finally fled the country with my children in spite of my fears. I knew that returning to the US was the only way I could give my children a good future. When I crossed that border I felt free for the first time in years, but there was a deep seeded fear lingering in the bottom of my heart. For 8 months, that fear of my ex one day finding me held me in heavy chains. Not long after I got my own place, all my fears suddenly became a reality. My ex filed abduction paperwork through “The Hague Convention” and my two year old daughter was removed from my custody and sent back to Canada with her father. No questions asked. Once again, we were forced to return to the abuse,- but this time it was abuse of a different kind... It seemed now that, he was the victim and I was the abuser...
I gave up everything, ripped my oldest daughter from school, and returned to the same place I spent two years in fear. At the border, I was handcuffed and searched like a criminal. This was when I found out that I am now listed as a “child-abductor” in Canada. As a result, I can no longer enter the country without permission from immigration. All over again, we had no means by which to survive, other than a small amount of assistance I was receiving from back home, and what others graciously provided for us. I spent a great deal of money to support my oldest daughter and I while I fought in a Canadian Superior court to no avail. Several weeks down the line, I did manage to establish visitation with my child but after six months, I could no longer afford to reside there. I had completely exhausted all of my resources and was forced to leave.
I fought court date after court date as the trial was continually postponed. I endured as the father of my child said every kind of evil, slanderous thing about me imaginable. Although he has an extensive criminal history involving domestic abuse, it was not compelling enough for the courts to allow my two year old daughter back home with me.
I could not appear for the trial and ultimately lost custody of my daughter to a man who tried to take my life. The Canadian justice system failed us and put both my children and I in danger, while enabling my ex-husband to continue abusing us... But even after all this “I forgive them all” and my heart is full of compassion for them...
For too long, I misplaced my faith, trusting in a corrupted system to render justice and mercy. I spent months fighting with all my strength, until I had nothing left... That day God brought me to my knees in total surrender as the words “I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU” thundered through my spirit. It was then that I put everything In His Hands and made a decision to put my faith solely in Him. I know that He is going to bring my daughter home because with Him, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.. My hope is ALIVE and I trust in the One who can do ALL things!
I “am” broken but I am not abandoned... and I am CONVINCED with UNSHAKABLE faith that in the Name of Jesus Christ, we CAN move EVERY mountain that stands in our way...
No matter how how tall...
